Everyone know love is all about sacrifice. It could be emotional sacrifice, sexual sacrifice, financial sacrifice, material sacrifice, spiritual sacrifice and many more.
It is important to know that when you are in love, you should try and support each other with love, understanding, encouragement, prayer, energize your partner to becoming a better version of their self not create a fustrating figure in your partner.
Love shouldn’t be one sided rather a two way traffic – give and take!
If there are some certain things you wish to sacrifice in your relationship, please kindly don’t think of adding these to your sacrifice A-list.
DON’T CHANGE YOURSELF.
I have always maintain that it is not a good idea to change for someone else – if you should do that, let it be positive change for yourself not solely for the person. In relationship, little compromise are needed to stir the love affair to it’s rightful direction. Being yourself means being original and authentic without pretence.
If your partner can’t accept you the way you are, let your partner change for you or allow you look for someone that will love you just the way you are. Don’t apologise for being yourself – be proud of who you are.
DON’T CHANGE YOUR DREAMS.
The best love or relationship is one that supports each other’s passion and dream. It works towards achieving same mission, goals, aspirations and vision. When your partner lacks the ability to support your dream, it is like being in a circle without forming the circle.
Each party must align oneself to their partner’s chosen path whether career, business, religion, ideology or whatever. You may not change yours to join your partner but can still retain your mission or dream while supporting your partner’s.
Please if your partner doesn’t stay on the same path with you, do not hesitate to pack and go. It is a red flag! It will always bring disagreement and fight in the relationship.
DON’T NEGOTIATE YOUR HAPPINESS.
Many people play with this word “happiness”. Until you lose it in your relationship, then you will feel the summersault effect of that in your life.
If your partner does not add value to your life or give you joy, then why still in that relationship?
Better leave them for people that will give you joy and make you happy. Life is just once, so why waste it already?
Any relationship that is toxic should not be considered as one or waste time trying to change. Not that it is impossble to change someone but on whose risk?. You need somebody who will cherish you, understand you, make you feel special and needed. All you need is that person that will bring out the little shinning star in you to a full grown happy star for many to see and marvel.
Your happiness is not negotiable, so don’t trade it with anything in your relationship.
DON’T PLAY WITH YOUR FREEDOM.
If you have ever visited prison, you will understand what freedom is all about. When you are in a relationship and yet you look over your shoulder to see if your partner is watching or following – my dear you are not different from a prisoner.
It is only partners that lack confidence would practice this prison life. A possessive partner will not accord you space to feel free with friends or colleagues – they always have this feeling of insecurity and abandonment. Some will question your bath time, cream time, work hour activities and even querry your phone calls. Very pathetic and needs a psychiatrist.
When your partner exhibit this controlling behavior, it simply shows that the person does not feel ok or comfortable with her or himself.
If you notice this in the early stages of the relationship, kindly work on it and if it didn’t work out, better walk away before you commit to a long term relationship which could be hard to pull out at the long run.
Here are the eight words you should never say to your partner.
In every relationship no matter how beautiful, there’s bound to be conflicts of interest between the two parties involved.
With conflicting interests, arguments occur. But arguments and misunderstandings can be properly managed with the right amount of civility and objectivity from both parties involved.
To handle conflict maturely, certain words and phrases must be avoided. This is because words are powerful; leaving a lasting impression on the subconscious of our loved ones. It is important therefore, to remain calm during arguments or during a misunderstanding and carefully select the words we use.
For longer lasting relationships, avoid using these eight phrases with your partner;
1) Shut Up
The phrase, ‘shut up’ tends to fly around easily during arguments. Usually, in the heat of the moment, blurting out this hurtful phrase is an attempt at imposing an end to the discussion on your partner.
Asides being hurtful, ‘shutting your partner up’ is highly disrespectful as it implies you have little regard for their opinion and what they have to say at that moment.
Should you feel reluctant to engage in an argument or discussion with your partner, simply suggest to them politely that you’d rather have that conversation on a later time.
2) I Wish I Never Dated You
Saying these words or ‘i wish i never married you’ to your partner begets serious repercussions even when said ‘harmlessly’.
Similarly, blurting out comparisons between your partner and your ex for instance, is completely foul and disrespectful. Never for instance, say things, “I wish you could be more like [insert ex’s name]”.
3) You’re a Failure
Nobody deserves to be humiliated because they do not meet your expectations for them least of all, your lover. If you feel your partner is a failure, you probably have no business dating them in the first place.
Of course, this doesn’t mean it’s inappropriate to encourage your beau/belle to do better. In fact, being a force of raw and uncut honesty and support system for your partner whenever they flop is a blessing. But in doing so, being sympathetic, patient, and loving is sure to drive your partner into doing better.
4) You’re an Idiot
Along with every other curse word or phrase is a huge no, no. Should you feel frustrated, or hurt by your partner, convey your feelings to them respectfully.
5) You’re Too Fat/Skinny
As ‘helpful’ as you may feel uttering this to your partner, this is pure suicide. Bodyshaming isn’t restricted to harsh or over-dramatic comments alone. Telling your partner they are too fat or thin is a sure ticket to letting them know you do not appreciate them just the way they are.
6) Truly depressing
If for medical reasons, you’re concerned about your partner’s weight, book them an appointment with a medical specialist and support them the best way you can.
7) I’m Leaving You
In whatever form aid, this phrase should be avoided unless actually meant.
Avoid threatening or emotionally blackmailing your partner with threats of divorce or break up. It’s not only a sad attempt at getting their attention, but also a seed that when germinated, could actually lead to an actual separation.
8) I’m Sorry But
Uttering this phrase to your partner, negates your apology. By including ‘but’ in an apology, you’re indirectly half-assing an apology to your partner.
This means that despite your wrongdoings towards them, your actions are justifiable. Not a great move if you plan on making your relationship work.
Sure these are not the only words to avoid saying to your partner as there are a number of similarly abominable words and phrases.
In learning how to accurately communicate with your beau/belle, insist on treating them first with respect, decency, and love no matter the situation.
5 things you should never do after a fight with your partner.
You’re two separate people, and you’re going to have different opinions sometimes.
You might have heard of some of those classic techniques for how to fight fair, like only using statement starting with “I” or trying not to call names.
But what you might not realize is that how you act after a fight can be as important to your relationship as what you say in the heat of the moment.
Here are 5 reactions to avoid, whether you’re totally over it or still working on that whole forgive-and-forget thing.
1. Don’t disrespect your partner’s need for space.
“In a fight, when one partner is overwhelmed, they may not be able to process their thoughts,” Dr. Megan Flemming, a clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist, tells Woman’s Dat.
“Which is why it’s important to respect when someone says ‘I need a break.'” It can be natural to feel anxious if your partner needs some time to cool off and collect their thoughts — if this happens, take a few deep breaths and think about how’d you want to be treated if the roles were reversed. “Understand that it’s not personal,” says Dr. Flemming.
2. Don’t have an all-or-nothing mentality.
After a heated argument with your partner, try to keep an open mind. In the midst of a fight, it can be easy to slip into black-or-white thinking. Dr. Flemming says using terms like “you always” or never” will never solve an argument, so it’s important to take a step back once things have cooled off to consider the argument from your partner’s point of view.
3.Don’t give them the cold shoulder.
If you need some space after a fight, that’s completely fine, as long as you tell them. “One of the biggest mistakes people make after an argument is stonewalling,” Rachel A. Sussman, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert in New York City, tells Woman’s Day. If you brush your partner off or ignore them, they may think you’re punishing them, which may make them hold back on telling you how they feel in the future. Instead, say, “My emotions don’t recede as quickly as yours but give me 24 hours and I’m sure things will be fine. If not, we can discuss more.”
4. Don’t keep their words in your arsenal.
You know the saying, “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”? Whatever your partner says during a fight should stay there. “List-makers never tell their partners what bothers them in the moment,” =Michelle Golland, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, tells Woman’s Dat. So if they say something during the fight that bugs you, tell them their words are frustrating you. If their fighting words annoy you the next day, give yourself some breathing room instead of approaching them again so soon. Bringing up an argument too often can lead to talking in circles, not a resolution.
5. Don’t just say, “I’m sorry” if they’re still hurt.
That says, “I’m sick of this. Leave me alone. I want to do something else,” Laurie Puhn, a couples mediator and author of Fight Less, Love More, tells Woman’s Day. “What you want to say is, ‘I’m sorry for…’ and explain what you’re talking about. The second part of the apology is, ‘In the future, I will…’ and fill in the blank with how you won’t make the mistake again.”
Ladies! Here are top signs that you can satisfy your man s*xually.
To know that he is sexually satisfied with you and by you, here are the signs you will see him manifest.
There is nothing better than knowing that your efforts at pleasing your man sexually are not in vain. While openly communicatingabout it is an obvious way to know if your man is sexually satisfied, there are also some signs to watch out for.
You know, because sometimes, he could be saying he’s satisfied so as not to hurt your feelings or make you feel some type of way.
To know that he really means it when he says he is sexually satisfied with you and by you, here are the signs to look out for:
1. Cuddles afterwards.
A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior indicated that couples who are sexually satisfied with each other like to cuddle, caress, and share moments of intimacy after sex.
Is he cuddling with you after sex as opposed to getting up or rolling over and sleeping off? It’s a sign that he enjoys sex with you so much.
2. The romance is alive.
Guys who are unsatisfied in bed won’t stay romantic for too long. That’s because sexual dissatisfaction has a way of affecting a relationship generally.
So if he is continuously, consistently being romantic with you, then you are doing something right.
3. He brags about your skills.
If you’re rocking his world so well, it’s likely he won’t be able to shut up about it – to you, at least.
4. Regular spontaneous sex.
When he’s spontaneously initiating sex even when you only have few minutes to spare, it is a sign that he likes doing it with you so much. If it doesn’t bang with you, he won’t be initiating sex when it is ‘inconvenient.’
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